What's Hers, What's Yours

           Growing up in a world where societies are scattered all over the countries gives us different cultural backgrounds and identities. Our identity, a reflection of ourselves towards others, begins to form when we were born and it develops into a more complicated and deeper meaning. The construction of our identity is a progressive process which can change from time to time and places to places.  Evidence from Rose Castillo Guilbault’s memoir showed us that identity varies in different societies. Her life and social experiences demonstrated the development of identity. With the presence of various agents of socialization, our identity is being influenced differently. Each agent alters and directs the construction of our identity.

            Rose’s childhood environment gave Rose her initial identity. She was born in Mexico and lived with her Mexican family. In this case, the agent of socialization for Rose was her society around her. She realized that she was born Mexican and that was her identity as far as she could tell when she was a little child. She knew that Vicam,“the small Indian village where [her] mother and [she] stayed for a long periods of time” (Guilbault 1), was her birth place and that was the also the origin of her identity.

            In addition, Rose’s parents gave a huge impact towards Rose’s identity. A father plays unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Fathers have a very unique way of shaping the way we go through life. Usually their actions are constructive and well-intentioned; however, in Rose’s case, it was quite the opposite. Her father was a very stern man and he expected Rose to be a mature child. There was only one personality about her father which Rose remembered. She “only remembered his impatience. How he’d push [her] away after hug” (Guilbault 12). Because of that childhood memory, it affected her primary socialization in a negative way. She thought of herself as being undervalued. She did not have the confidence to show what she was capable of. She grew up being a passive person and it gave her difficulties in finding relationship.

            On the other hand, her mother, a kind-hearted and caring person, was the opposite of Rose’s father. She described her mother as having a “sweet, loving smile that suffused [her] with warmth. Affection glowed from her soft eyes, and under their caring gaze [she] once again felt safe and sheltered” (93). Rose perceived her mother as if she possesses an angelic personality as her mother provided Rose love and protection. Figuring that kind of personality, she was closer to her mother than to her father. In Rose’s mind, she would perceive that men care less than women and that was caused by one of her agents of socialization, her father.

            Similarly to Rose’s childhood, my father, a well-educated person, was also quite strict in terms of behaviors. I was raised to be an obedient child and whenever I did something wrong, my father would get mad at me. It was hard for me growing up with a very strict father as he monitored my behaviors. It influenced me a lot after my childhood because I am pretty close to my mother instead of my father but we still communicate to one another. I found myself to be a really quiet person and it really is a challenge for me to interact with others. Fortunately, I grew up in a society where people were very friendly and it gave me the braveness and courage to express myself to others. It goes the same way as what happened to Rose when she grew up becoming a teenager and found a lot of friends and a boyfriend.

            After Rose’s parents’ divorce, Rose and her mother had to start a new life. They had to move out from their society in order to pursue a new life. They had to move to California with her mother’s friend and worked there to make their ends meet. This was the pinnacle point where Rose’s life started to change and her identity construction really began to develop. In California, Rose experienced dramatic changes in her way of living and her environment. Adapting in a new society where all the people were strangers to Rose and did not having any clue about their backgrounds was a difficult task for Rose to handle. Being a Mexican girl and wanted to be accepted by her American friends was quite a struggle for her. In one of her cases, when she was on the bus, “the older kids laughed at [her], and [she] couldn’t understand most of what was being said. They’d often not let [her] sit next to them, stacking schoolbooks alongside empty seats when they saw [her] approach” (48). From this experience, Rose was made confused on why their friends acted to her like that and she felt isolated because of that. And this turns out to be that there is another agent of socialization which, in this case, was her friends. As Rose slowly adjusted herself with her friends, Rose slowly began to adapt to this kind of situation around her.

            Likewise, I also had this kind of experience before. When I was moving in to the United States to continue my studies alone, I felt uncomfortable and it made me extremely nervous. I was afraid that I would not be able to endure the anxiety that I got as I had to move in to a new environment. I did not have any friend enrolling at Foothill College before. However, as time passed by, I slowly started to find ways in which I can feel being accepted here. I met new friends and we spend our time together studying and playing games. I have developed a close relationship with my friends and we have been maintaining our strong friendship for several moths already.

            Furthermore, Rose’s identity was also influenced by her peers and school, especially her teacher. She remembered the time when she was at elementary school and she had the meanest teacher teaching her class. At first, she thought of Mrs. Rojas, the meanest teacher, as a very strict and unfriendly person. However, Rose made a misconception about how terrible it was to have an awful teacher. It turned out that she learned many valuable life lessons from her teacher. Her teacher planted the “seeds of self-worth, acceptance and pride” inside of her “which was planted so subtly that [she] didn’t even realize they were growing until many years later” (86). She was very grateful that she had a teacher who implemented those values inside her mind. Mrs. Rojas did play a significant role on shaping Rose's identity.Xoverall solid paragraphs; move the best point to the top.

            In the same way, I have experienced how Rose was feeling when she had Mrs. Rojas as her teacher. Back then when I was still at high school, I had one teacher who is very strict in terms of discipline and behaviors. Most of the students in my high school hated him that almost everyone in my class rarely talked to him. He kept on persisting students that they need to follow up to standards every single time. For that reason, most of my classmates disliked him. At one point of my life during my high school, I started to think in a different perspective. When I tried to reason out why my teacher did all these things, I sort of understood why he acted that way. He was trying to improve our quality as a human being and he was making us to be a prominent person for future purposes. From him, I actually did obtain many valuable lessons.

            Going through many different experiences, we would ultimately change overtime. Being faced with different obstacles and new surroundings in life could alter our identity. As we slowly conquer all these challenges, our identity construction gradually builds up. By comparing my life with Rose’s, I have learned many similarities especially the agents of socialization in her upbringing, and how identity can be formed through different paths. With these influences coming from these agents of socialization, it helps up shape our identity and affects the way on how I perceive myself.